Problem #3: Boys don’t wear makeup.
Problem #2: Markers are not considered makeup.
Problem #1: My boys like to draw… with marker… all over… themselves.
I guess tonight is bath night.
Over the last 5 days, we have been under siege. We are being stalked. Our house is under constant surveillance. My children have been harassed and even physically threatened. I’ve called the police to tell them that we are practically being held hostage… by geese.
I hate geese. Hate. HATE. HATE! HATE!!! I HATE GEESE!!!
Unfortunately, Mama Goose and Papa Goose have returned to lay their eggs again… just like last year…
But this time, we weren’t going to be held hostage in our own home again.
On Thursday, while the kids were out in the front yard with the babysitter, one of these geese charged at Jedi (who is physically smaller than one of these geese). Micah yelled, “Jedi, RUN!” (Later, Micah would recall the story as… “The goose was going to eat Jedi!”) Fortunately, all of them made it safely back into the garage. Late on Friday, Cristine called me to say that they were back to scope out the mulch in front of our house. We scared it back with the garden hose, but not without a couple of charges against me as well. I was able to get up a small fence that seemed to hold them off. However, it wasn’t enough to deter them. On Saturday, I took the video at the top of this post.
Day and night, they have constantly kept watch. As well, little by little, I added various… elements… to our mulch area to make it “inhospitable” as suggested by DuPage Animal Control.
I have the sprinkler out there. I put up the flag. I put a garbage bag on my garden tiller (to simulate a swan). And, I put up that fence. Later, I added a radio on the inside of the downstairs window and started putting pieces of a plastic playhouse on the mulch. We also went to Menards today and bought a blue tarp and tent stakes…
Yet, even now (and I’m writing this at 2:15a), the geese are still keeping watch on our property. I’ve already banged on the window to try to scare one away who was trying to carve out some open space on the mulch. Fortunately, it flew away… just not away from my property.
Seriously, I legally cannot hurt it (intentionally or unintentionally). But, we can’t even walk through our property safely. I had to walk our babysitter around our neighbor’s house to get her to her car.
This MUST STOP! I can’t stand the constant radio! I can’t stand the constant staring! I can’t stand the constant harassment!
So earlier tonight, my wife said to take down the “scare-goose”. It’s not really scaring them.
I looked at her and said, “No. This is my call to battle. And we will win.” We will not be held hostage in our own home. The police can’t help. County animal control can’t help. I will defend our home and these geese SHALL NOT NEST on my land!
SHALL. NOT. NEST.
Oh… I hate geese.