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  • Micah: I had a dream last night that I was saving chocolate muffins... for a girl.
  • Papa: What do you mean?
  • Micah: There was a train and it was wiggling and the girl kept dropping the muffins... And I catched them.
  • Mama: Well, if you're going to save something, it's good it was chocolate muffins...
  • Papa: ... and for a girl.

  • Micah: Even when people call Papa bad names, Papa is still the best Papa.

  • While waiting for a friend at BW3, I heard this from the table next to me...
  • Server: What will you have, sir?
  • Guy: I think I'll get the fish tacos.
  • Server: Umm... I like to be honest... I've never had the fish tacos. I mean, this place is called Buffalo Wild Wings.

  • 30 minutes into a 2.5 hour car ride...
  • Micah: I have to go pee pee!
  • Papa: Okay, just don't think about it!
  • Micah: I can't hold it! <pause> The pee pee is thinking about me!
  • Mama + Papa: <blank stares>

Text

Problem #3: Boys don’t wear makeup.
Problem #2: Markers are not considered makeup.
Problem #1: My boys like to draw… with marker… all over… themselves.

I guess tonight is bath night.

Oh, c&#8217;mon now&#8230; That&#8217;s so good on so many levels&#8230;

Oh, c’mon now… That’s so good on so many levels…

Source: mofarahrunningawayfromthings

  • Papa: Okay... Let's pray and go night-night...
  • Micah: Papa, why do you have a hole in your shirt...
  • Papa: Because I'm ripped...
  • Micah: <pause> Papa's whole body is ripped.

  • Mama: These bugs are mating outside the window!
  • Papa: Gross. Turn off the light.
  • Micah: What's "mating"?
  • Papa: <pause> In the course of life... No, I'm not explaining this to you.

  • Papa: Mama... Eggs, rice, and... kimchi?
  • Mama: The best.

  • while driving this evening...
  • Mama: Look! $5 spray tans!
  • Papa: I'm there!
  • Mama: Better wear a white t-shirt...

  • In the car, driving home yesterday...
  • Mama: Some day, your ears are going to be twice their current size and filled with hair...
  • Papa: (pause)... Happy Birthday Papa...
  • Mama: That's not a bad thing, it happens to very old men... (pause) So, if it happens to you...
  • Papa: (pause)... You know, this is going on Facebook...

  • Mama + Papa + Jedi: [singing + air guitar + Pandora.com] Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save! He is mighty...
  • Micah: Stop! It's so loud, I can't hear Caillou on TV!
  • Papa: Seriously? Caillou over Hillsongs? Seriously, Micah?

Over the last 5 days, we have been under siege. We are being stalked. Our house is under constant surveillance. My children have been harassed and even physically threatened. I’ve called the police to tell them that we are practically being held hostage… by geese.

I hate geese. Hate. HATE. HATE! HATE!!! I HATE GEESE!!!

Unfortunately, Mama Goose and Papa Goose have returned to lay their eggs again… just like last year…

But this time, we weren’t going to be held hostage in our own home again.

On Thursday, while the kids were out in the front yard with the babysitter, one of these geese charged at Jedi (who is physically smaller than one of these geese). Micah yelled, “Jedi, RUN!” (Later, Micah would recall the story as… “The goose was going to eat Jedi!”) Fortunately, all of them made it safely back into the garage. Late on Friday, Cristine called me to say that they were back to scope out the mulch in front of our house. We scared it back with the garden hose, but not without a couple of charges against me as well. I was able to get up a small fence that seemed to hold them off. However, it wasn’t enough to deter them. On Saturday, I took the video at the top of this post.

Day and night, they have constantly kept watch. As well, little by little, I added various… elements… to our mulch area to make it “inhospitable” as suggested by DuPage Animal Control.

I have the sprinkler out there. I put up the flag. I put a garbage bag on my garden tiller (to simulate a swan). And, I put up that fence. Later, I added a radio on the inside of the downstairs window and started putting pieces of a plastic playhouse on the mulch. We also went to Menards today and bought a blue tarp and tent stakes…

Yet, even now (and I’m writing this at 2:15a), the geese are still keeping watch on our property. I’ve already banged on the window to try to scare one away who was trying to carve out some open space on the mulch. Fortunately, it flew away… just not away from my property.

Seriously, I legally cannot hurt it (intentionally or unintentionally). But, we can’t even walk through our property safely. I had to walk our babysitter around our neighbor’s house to get her to her car.

This MUST STOP! I can’t stand the constant radio! I can’t stand the constant staring! I can’t stand the constant harassment!

So earlier tonight, my wife said to take down the “scare-goose”. It’s not really scaring them.

I looked at her and said, “No. This is my call to battle. And we will win.” We will not be held hostage in our own home. The police can’t help. County animal control can’t help. I will defend our home and these geese SHALL NOT NEST on my land!

SHALL. NOT. NEST.

Oh… I hate geese.

  • On the road, passing O'Hare Airport...
  • Papa: Look! Airplane on Jedi's side!
  • Jedi: Airplane! It going to Target!
  • Micah: No, it's not. It's not going to Target. Target is THAT way...

Of course, the most interesting thing inside the my prized shipping box was not the 4 channel digital mixer I won through a webinar drawing last month. At least, not to the kids it wasn’t.

Source: Flickr / jermball30